How the Hell Does Membership Pricing Work?
When you first join the Society, you’ll hand over £30.
Before you groan, here’s the breakdown:
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£15 pays for your first year of glorious futility.
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£15 is a one-time initiation fee, which covers your Welcome Pack:
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🕯️ An official Certificate of Membership (signed in apathy, sealed with misery)
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👕 A T-Shirt of Shame
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☕ A Mug of Despair
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This means you don’t just join — you join in style.
From year two onwards, it’s just £15 a year to keep your name etched into the Hall of Futility. No more initiation fee, no more free tat (unless you buy it yourself, you miserable bastard).
In short:
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Year One → £30 (membership + pack of pointless treasures)
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Every Year After → £15 (to continue the suffering)
Because misery loves company… and company costs money.
Frequently asked questions
What do I actually get for my money?
A certificate you didn’t need, a mug you’ll chip, a T-shirt you’ll spill beer on, and access to a website full of other miserable bastards. Worth every penny.
Is there an initiation ritual?
No robes, no chanting (unless you want to). Your only initiation is paying the fee and receiving your Welcome Pack of pointless tat.
Can I cancel my membership?
Of course. You can cancel any time with one click. Will it change anything? No. You’ll still be miserable, just £15 richer.
Do I have to use my real name?
Absolutely not. Choose a fictitious name and ridiculous title. Lord of Bollocks? Lady of Shrugs? Go wild.
What happens at the Assembly of Futility?
We gather. We shrug. We complain. Nothing gets solved. It’s glorious.
What is the Grievance Board?
t’s our sacred dumping ground — a digital wall where members post their moans, rants, sighs, and complaints about life, humanity, or anything else. Others may respond, or more likely, ignore you entirely (which is the purest form of Society spirit).
The very best grievances — the most bitter groans, the sharpest moans, the sighs that echo with futility — are handpicked and published in the official Society zine, Despair. Immortality through misery.
What is the High Council of Shrugs?
The High Council is the inner sanctum of the Society — a hidden chamber of futility reserved for a chosen few. Membership is by invitation only and invisible to regular members.
The Council’s noble duties include shrugging, nodding, and appearing important while accomplishing nothing whatsoever.
Perks of the High Council:
Exclusive access to merch not available to the common herd
Eligibility for ludicrous titles and absurd post-nominals
Entry into the secret High Council group (invite-only)
Occasional influence over Society nonsense (not that it matters)
Can you join? Not directly. But keep moaning, showing off your tat, and embodying the true spirit of futility… and you might just be noticed.
Full Membership
15£Every year+£15 Members PackCongratulations, miserable bastard. You are about to purchase your own futility — neatly packaged into one year of official membership. Renewable annually, because futility never ends.- Join Today. Preserve thyself. Mock the rest