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Why suffer in silence when you can suffer in style? The Self Preservation Society proudly presents its Merch of Misery — sacred relics of apathy designed to make you look smug while doing absolutely nothing.
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Apparel of Apathy – T-shirts, hoodies, and caps that say what you’re thinking (but louder). Perfect for pubs, protests, or just sulking in public.
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Drinkware of Despair – Mugs and vessels to hold coffee, tea, or the tears of humanity. Every sip tastes faintly of futility.
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Symbols of Futility – Stickers and patches stamped with the Sigillum Miserabile. Mark your belongings (or enemies) with the seal of shrugs.
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Sacred Texts – Collect Despair, the official organ of the Society. Available digitally for the masses, free for members, and uncut for the High Council.
Whether you’re a Lord of Bollocks, a Lady of Shrugs, or just a miserable bastard doing your best — there’s something here to remind the world: all humans are cunts.
